The onset of autumn '16,
just half a month past monsoon,
when excitement about a new job,
new people and new experience was plenty.
Day 1:
I struggle with a door latched by biometrics,
a watchman watching my failed attempts cluelessly,
a stranger opens the door for me, from the other side of the world I was just about to step into.
With an unrequited smile, I walked ahead curiously.
Few months of happy-work-life later:
With a room full of partially known faces,
faced with the obligation of spending 8 hours of forced fellowhood for 5-odd-days,
I sat excitedly next to the stranger who opened the door for me on Day 1.
As curious as I was about the week ahead, to talk to this stranger was the last thing in my mind that minute.
A few awkward glances later:
Pointing at the ring on my hand he asks "Who bought this for you?",
knowing what he'd meant to ask, I said, "Mom did. For my birthday."
Sharing mutual grins, we continued with our routine of practice,
which seemed to completely bore this man, while the exact opposite with me.
5-odd-days-of-forced-fellowhood later:
At 5:00 AM in the morning, forced into the morning schedule,
was my Monday which was supposed to bring an utterly shitty week along.
1 hour past, I see myself looking at the mirror in the ladies room,
with a smile so wide and a tickle in the tummy.
Ridiculing my inane excitement at the sight of this person,
I decide to keep my sensibility hat on.
The days that followed were a mix of my one-sided conversations,
and his constant efforts to seem genuinely interested in hearing the trivial attention to details of my stories, which made no sense or meaning to this poor listener.
Crux of the matter by the end of this week: a new friendship in the making.
2-weeks-of-casual-coffee-times-at-work-and-hi's-&-shy's later:
Something about the person made me feel too clinged to vapid thoughts,
reminding me of my past, I ensured that I stayed glued to my sanity,
"We're just colleagues", I told myself every time I traversed to my imaginary world filled with amorous conceptions with this new person.
Giving in to my endlessly coercing mind resulted in us going on our first real date.
2-weeks-from-the-first-date-later:
Bombarding in my head were some questions I had no answer to,
"Is this love?", I asked.
And ended the day with "What did I just do today? God, Why? Shouldn't I just have waited for another few weeks before falling? What will he think of me? Won't he think I am toooo desperate? What if he said it back because he just had to? What if he meant nothing like that?"
"Of course, it won't mean anything, nobody means so much in such short span. Just be okay with letting go anytime, if that happens to be the case", I ordered myself.
A few months of unknown terrain later:
Things kept happening, I keep feeling and unfeeling the feelings,
I keep doing and undoing my love,
typing and untyping some words that mattered, sending love letters like a clod,
and often wigging myself for being too much, feeling too much, thinking too much.
He said that he felt similar things too, which was probably the only saving grace to my asinine heart.
Belief was my armor and faith my savior when the questions I had still, received no real answers.
An-email-from-another-world later:
A sudden sense of joy and sorrow had blended into one moment of lump in my throat.
Tied up at work, with only 30 minutes left for the shift to end, he still managed to come to hear what I had to say.
A blend of happiness and excitement on his face gave some solace and relief to my heavily pounding heart.
Amidst the many things I was unclear about, there was one certainty in the scenario-that I was going to leave the place.
Neither of us knew whether we would last, but both of us knew that we could make us last.
Two-months-into-the-new-world later:
A casual summer day of '17,
monsoon in my world, sunny in his,
thankful about the fact that we've lasted two months since the distance creeped in,
I hid silently beneath the kitchen window at his place.
Clueless about my arrival, he comes in and sees a bunch of chocolates and a hand-written love letter that meant not so exciting to his eyes till then.
Moments later, I ran closer and jumped on like a spider-monkey,
leaving his lips speechless for a couple of hours, till it finally sunk in his head that I was here for a surprise visit!
Little did we know that it only marked a new beginning to a deeper love for both of us.
Our month arrived:
By August, this was it.
This is all that we needed; each other's companionship and love.
August was our month of love.
August marked the beginning of bigger words with real meaning,
with even more meaning in the silences we shared.
August marked the outset of a more valuable relationship, more committed partnership.
Today:
All I need to summarize happiness, peace, and contentment is: HIM.
