From a Body Full of Asymmetries to a Mind Full of Mumbles

I was born with a big black birth mark on my back. It's shaped as though someone had stabbed my back to death in my previous life. To that my mumbling mind says "That's why it seems like Déjà-Vu, every time someone betrays my trust now". 

I have a body full of asymmetries; one eye smaller than another; nose so tiny that my parents say that I was born with only two holes of nostrils in place of the whole nose; one hand bigger than another by almost a centimeter; two feet of different sizes with enormously longer fingers adjacent to toes. All these and many other asymmetries known only to me, to which my mind mumbles "There can surely never be another me, for unless I disclose these to anyone, nobody can turn as perfectly asymmetric as me".

I'm sure everyone is their own kind of unique. How accepting we are to our asymmetries is totally upon our outlook towards life as a whole and our individual selves in particular.

It'll take it's own sweet time. You'll hate yourself some days. You'll seem too fat (thin) to yourself some days, too many marks on your body, or maybe not as glowing a skin as you wanted, despite the thousands you spent on cosmetic remedies. I tell you, one day soon, you'll give up on being perfect, you'll stop the external cosmetic remedies that torch your body, your mind, your peace. 

The same mumbling mind will give you the answers you need; the pep talks you want someone out there to give you; the "best-friendly" advise that you seek from someone else- it'll give you all.

All you need to do is be okay with who you are, strive to be a better person; healthier than yesterday, happier than today and content than ever before.

What it is Like to Miss My Baby Sister

It is one of those days when I woke up with the thought of my childhood memories with my baby sister.

Though she's a cousin, the bond that we share is beyond any blood relation. I have known her since the time she was born. I have held her and fallen with her down the stairs when she was only months old.

We have laughed together, cried together, done crazy stuff together, eaten together, slept together and even dreamt together.

She's been so much closer to me than my own real sibling.

She has known all my close friends and still remembers their names and the phase in which they've been a part of my life.

It is one of those days when I woke up with a wish to spend time with my little one, talk it all out, laugh, hug and cuddle with my little bundle of love, just like old times!

She was right. We have indeed grown up to become too busy in our futile aspirations that we have no time left to relive those wonderful childhood days.

Perhaps, it is this thought which wakes me up to live up for something more meaningful..

Perhaps, that is what her remembrance is meant to make me learn! 

When Life as is Feels Like a Series of Serendipities

None of what I have right now is what I was ever looking for, but all of what I have right now is the best that could have ever happened to me.

This job, this city, this liberating feeling that the sea brings, the support and love that I receive from my family, My Sahil, my friends Deepanshi, Bhavna, Shivani, Shilpa my family-like colleagues Shalini and Srejita who count days when I am away, just to pamper me with all that love once I am back, what-all and what-not, I could go on counting them!

Today, as I look back at the 24 years of my life, I come to realize that my life has offered me way beyond what I could have found by myself and I am just grateful.

I believe that all our life is but a jigsaw puzzle. We look for the right piece of the puzzle every moment, whether love, friendship, career, or just the place. But we don't really appreciate how beautiful the jigsaw puzzle looks when we do find and fix the perfect pieces, whether we find it early in our lives or later. Rather we complain about what we have not found yet, and how incomplete the jigsaw is without those pieces!

Sitting with myself in my most favorite month, I think of all the pieces of my puzzle so far and adore how they fit in perfectly and how beautiful the jigsaw of my life looks right now!

Indeed my life is just a collation of a series of serendipities, joining themselves into my own personal jigsawed picture, which looks absolutely adorable right now!

I'm so grateful!

What Long Distance Love Story Feels Like

It's funny how love makes you feel both weak and strong at the very same time! 

It's such a complementary contradiction to live with and go through.

I've spent weeks without seeing my beloved and the very feeling of being loved by him seems like a huge source of strength in those days.

But the moment I see him, I go weak in my knees! Like all I need to live from that moment on, is to be in his physical presence. Like even a minute extra with him is another dose of cocaine rushing through my blood; so addictive that I cannot do without him anymore.

And then when reality hits again, and distance becomes inevitable, we move ahead trying to comfort each other by some tiny expressions of love.

That's when I realized that the distance is not what makes us stronger in love, it's the reminiscence of the previous meeting and the hope for the forthcoming meeting, that makes us sustain everything that makes us go weak in love.

I believe Love and strength go in harmony, just like him and I do. They do seem to be contradicting each other once in a while, but they equally complement each other every other day, and so we blossom in love only when there's enough strength in us to handle what comes with it.

You will know that its love, when you ought to know

I don't know what love is. But I know how you can know you are in love.

You'll know that it is love when you become incapable to express how you feel, not just to the one you feel for, but to anyone else in the world.

You'll know that it's love when being nice to each other and keeping each other as priority does not seem to be an obligation or a tedious task.

You'll know that it's love when you are neither insecure about tomorrow's uncertainties, nor bothered about yesterday's issues about each other.

You'll know that it's love when you don't have to wait for the other to express the love for you every day, you already know their love.

You'll know that it's love when you feel it's right, when something within you knocks and tells you THIS IS IT.

So don't be in a rush when you get attracted to someone for you'll know that it's love only when you ought to know!

She ain't Alive

The person that I was is already dead.

She was passion, she was cheer, but she's no more here. 

She was craze, she was fun, but you'll never see her around. 

She loved life from every bit, but now I've killed all of it.

So now the person that you knew has gone too far.

Don't be sorry​, for you did nothing to tear her apart. 

Unrequited love and friendship was the truth of her life,

But don't you worry, she won't bother you for she ain't alive...

How She'll Lose Herself

"I will go silent some day. 

I won't be chatty anymore.

I will be calmer and wiser.

I'll subside everything that ​impacts me.

I will be indifferent.

I will be prettier. I will be wittier and smarter.

I will be more acceptable to you.

Because I'm building my own tomorrow with the learnings and remains of yesteryears.

And when I reach there, don't come to me and ask me to be the same person again, for I will forget how I am now and that self will be gone forever."

So said the girl who once lived valiantly, as she now fell prey to the need for being accepted!